


You're mine forever and I'm yours til the end

by redlipsredledger



Category: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Han doesn't think he's good enough, Inner Dialogue, Internal Conflict, Marriage Proposal, One Shot, POV Han Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipsredledger/pseuds/redlipsredledger
Summary: Han Solo debates over asking Leia to marry him.(At least this one won't make anyone cry lmao!)
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	You're mine forever and I'm yours til the end

He paced. He was finding it increasingly hard to stay still these days and he wasn't really sure why, okay yes he was: His brain was a spinning at a dizzying speed and he wasn't sure what the hell to do with himself and so he paced. He paced in the hopes that eventually he'd find enough clarity to find stillness amongst all of the chaos. They won, that was supposed to be the end of the battle and they were supposed to move onto that whole mythical _Happily ever after_ thing that everyone was chasing.

He hadn't realised that he was too until he'd met Leia; he'd written off that whole romance thing after Qi'Ra but it seemed as though a heart didn't break forever.

Leia Organa had changed everything with him and all it had taken was her stopping him in his tracks with a wit and a defiant nature that had thrown him clean off balance. She was unlike every other woman that he'd ever met. She held him still and sent him cascading all at the same time. She was a Supernova burning bright and explosive as beautiful as she was destructive and she didn't seem to see that she drew people to her so naturally.

Him included. 

She was right about him and he knew it: He was a scoundrel and he doubted that he'd ever been anything but that because that was all he'd ben for as long as he could remember and he hadn't regret that. It was him being a scoundrel that had brought him into her orbit. An accidental happenstance that had turned Han Solo from a hapless smuggler with no real direction in life to an Honest hero. Or at least honest to a degree.

He'd have fought every force in the galaxy for her a hundred times over gladly which was why he hadn't backed down from a war that wasn't his own and could've had him killed for her sake. He didn't tell her that though, he maintained it was for himself and that he was doing that because he'd never be able to earn a living in a galaxy ruled by the Empire but he knew Leia knew the truth. He was fighting because he cared for her.

He'd spent quite a while after that toying with her, teasing her and telling her that he knew she loved him but never in a million years had he thought she ever genuinely would; Luke had been right and he knew it: He wasn't good enough for her and he probably never would be. He was just an ordinary person, there was nothing spectacularly different about him and yet she'd looked at him and for the first time in as long as he could remember, someone _saw_ him.

Truly, wholly and completely saw him stripped down without all of the pretenses and the bravado to the person that laid underneath all of that and he had hated it at first because he couldn't hide, she saw who he really was and that was the side to him that he held so close and guarded it so fiercely that he'd been so sure that no one would ever know him like that again but then she'd smiled and he'd been a goddamn sucker for her.

Damn her to the depths of perdition itself. He'd fight, he'd fight until there was no strength left in his body so long as it meant that she could live and be safe and happy and while he wanted to live that happy life with her, he could just about continue his existence knowing that he'd done his best to make her happy if she chose not to be with him. It would be her choice, it would always, always be her choice and while he'd never stop choosing her he couldn't make her choose him too and he knew it.

She deserved better, she was a Princess and a Princess deserved a Prince not some wayward soul that was barely avoiding arrest with nothing to his name but his ship. What kind of life could he possibly hope to offer her? Hell, it wasn't one worthy of her station but it was one that he'd do all he could for anyway.

He hadn't much, she'd known that all along. He'd never had much but he loved her more than anything else in this whole galaxy or any other. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes upon and she'd challenged him and made him see that there was more to life than his lonely, barely held together existence.

She'd offered him a purpose and then she'd offered him her heart. What had he ever done to deserve such an honor?

He asked himself that question every day without fail.

So, Han Solo paced as he mulled through his thoughts over and over again and he chased himself around in endless circles in his head as he thought about exactly what he'd say to her and how he'd ask her to spend the rest of their lives with him by her side with the absolute knowledge that he'd love her forever and that he'd protect her, nurture her, encourage her and stand at her side never presuming that she needed him to fight her battles for him.

He already knew she didn't.

He'd treat her as an equal, he'd worship her and he'd love her with all that he was and while he had nothing worthy of note to offer her he could offer her a heart that beat for her and for her alone and somewhere inside of him he hoped that it would be enough for her. 

He could never be worthy of her, he never would be and he knew that and he'd tell her that before she even heard whatever half-assed speech he managed to come up with on the spot because nothing he'd come up with so far sounded even remotely like it would convince her to accept him out of all of the men in this galaxy to stand at her side. How could he find the words for that? How could he find the words to ask the one person in this galaxy that could have everything she sought and more and ask her to choose him?

He had nothing to give her but himself but by all of the forces in the galaxy, he could swear that he'd love her more than anyone else would and he'd be damn right about it too. He would love her with every breath in his body, with every ounce of strength in his bones and with every beat of his heart. He would exist for her and her alone, he would hold her close but never presume to shelter her from the evils that existed around them. He would fight by her side and not in her place. He would love her.

He would love her more than a man had ever loved a woman before and he would do so with such fervor that she'd never feel as though she was alone another day in her life.

This scruffy, wayward soul would give her everything if he could because she deserved that and more and he hoped that she'd know that. She loved him, he knew she loved him but he didn't know if that would be enough for him to ask her for forever. He didn't know if that would be enough to ask her to give up hope of some big, lavish life for the sake of loving an outcast like him. He dragged in a deep breath as he fought to steady himself.

He stopped. For the first time in hours he stopped still and he closed his eyes as he fought to center himself. His Princess, his beautiful, beloved Princess who deserved the galaxy itself at her feet would have him forever even if she decided he wasn't good enough because he'd never stop loving her.

Destruction at her hand would be the most beautiful way for his heart to break anyway. 

He braced himself for the potential of a cruel, soul crushing rejection and he smiled deciding that indeed it didn't - and wouldn't - matter even if she said no, he'd love her anyway and he'd know that he tried. He'd know that he opened himself up and he made sure she knew that he loved her more than anything else in this endless corner of existence and he'd have told her that she was worth it all and more. He'd have told her that he'd give her everything if he could.

But all Han Solo had to offer was himself and Leia Organa would have his heart even if she turned him down.

He nodded his head resolutely then as he walked out of the room and he made his way to her quarters, he brushed past people on the way that stopped to try to ask him questions with a shake of his head and he stepped inside, she turned to look at her and he shook his head again. Don't talk. Don't talk or he was going to lose his nerve and he knew it. He dragged in a deep breath and nodded once again.

Reaffirming his resolution, Han Solo painted on his usual cocky grin. 

Momentarily. Just for one moment. Just for that one split second and then it was gone replaced by a genuine, uncertain and terrified smile.

"I need to ask you something and before you speak just- I've thought real long and real hard about this and I know that I can't give you everything. I can't give you worlds or crowns or jewels and I can't dedicate a fleet of battleships in your honor, I can't promise you a lavish life or something far more worthy of who you are than me but I can offer you a man that'll love you til the galaxy burns out. I can offer you someone that looks at you and sees nothing but you and never has since the moment he met you. I can offer you someone who's heart beats for you, who is yours mind body and soul and who'd die for you if that's what it took to make you believe I love you-" He cut off then.

A small laugh breaking his lips.

"Hoping it won't come to that mind." He happened to quite like being alive.

Anyway. Get on with it.

"I can't give you everything and you know all I got is me but I love you, Leia. I'll love you more than anyone else ever will and I ain't got titles or anything worth a damn thing but I'm gonna stand here knowing you know that and knowing that I'll never be good enough to be standing here asking you but I'm asking you anyway: Will you marry me?"

Please say Yes.

Please.

For the love of the Force itself, please say _Yes._


End file.
